A letter in reponse to “Wanted, Or and Adveritsment of Sorts”
1919 Incendiary Way
Insurgent, Ohio 45640
February 20, 2009
VIA Hand Delivery
Dearest Evil Genius:
I am writing to express interest in your current posting for evil henchwomen. I am very interested in the eradication of the male species and possible intergalactic Cosmic Invasion of other worlds and dimensions. The following is a brief overview of my super-villainess identity:
Name: Blonde Bombshell
Specialties: Explosives and demolition.
Skills: Can disable males with a smoldering look.
Inventions: Develops/designs one-of-a kind undergarments that perform such functions as shooting poisonous darts, expelling sleeping gases, and firing bullets. Matching panties also serve as a flotation device in case of water landing or being dropped into a tank of ill tempered sea bass with lasers on their heads.
Sidekick: Red (will be part of team along with Blonde Bombshell)
Specialties: Use of fire for mayhem and destruction.
Skills: Can disable males with a single snarky glare and can balance a check book.
Inventions: Exploding hair barrettes and teleportation camera.
Both Blonde Bombshell and Red possess a great quantity of knowledge about technological devices and sciences. We also have sketchy morals and are very loyal.
Together Blonde Bombshell and Red have acquired funds from over 500 financial intuitions. They have also pulled off such successful capers as Framing Rodger Rabbit and breaking up the Boy Bands to hiding Elvis (that’s right he’s alive and we have him) and causing the State of Florida to be overrun with “hanging chads.”
Weaknesses/Kryptonite: Reese’s Cups, Diet Coke, Spike (from Buffy) and Hottie Bailiffs.
Mortal/Immortal Enemy: Currently None
Blonde Bombshell and Red have no salary requirements as they are independently wealthy. We are requesting employment for the sheer joy of doing evil things. We wish to develop a larger skill base and believe that evil is more fun with a group. We are team players who are capable of building nuclear weapons.
In addition to this letter please note that today a new toy was delivered to one eDouch. Said toy was created from a polymer compound developed by Blond Bombshell and Red to coat surfaces with a laxative effect itchy substance (patent pending)
Thank for your taking the time to consider our application. See photos below for costume/appearance approval.
Blonde Bombshell and Red